Monthly Archive for October, 2009

disco monday: what happens when probably-not-homeless people collect or steal your plastic bottles

It’s Monday morning in Michigan. I guess that means I’m livin’ in the future.

People in China litter. Most rationalize this with the argument that someone gets paid to pick it up. That person needs a job, and there’s a lot of people in China. Over a billion. Unfortunately, an undesirable behavior continues. Also, someone broke a glass bottle of ketchup in front of my compound eight days ago, and some pretty obvious chunks of glass still await, so the public can’t necessarily count on that worker’s competence level.

Really curious to see how littering fines get enforced as the World Expo nears. Also, I got word from a cab driver that the government will definitely clampdown on motorcycle taxis in the coming months.

But China does recycle/reuse a lot of its trash. That’s why someone stole my half-full water bottle in the park the other day. They’re quick, those plastic thieves.

I don’t know where they take the bottles, but here’s how the pricing structure works

(approx. 67 Mao = $1)

Small Bottled Water = One Mao

Big Bottled Water = Two Mao
And the cooking oil jugs in the photo? Three Mao.

Actually, Mao coins can buy a lot. Just ten mao can get a banana, a mini-orange, some chili peppers, a potato, a big handful of peanuts, a bottle of water (some places), a lighter, perhaps a small onion? Ten Mao probably can’t buy Baijiu, and that’s good. It’s like redeeming tickets for prizes at the arcade.

The recycling man didn’t wanna talk too much, but I see him everyday so as our friendship inevitably develops I’ll post more pricing info.

Too bad more kids don’t boogie to cosmic disco, but almost everyone gets down to today’s track. I’ve watched this one birth many a dance floor.

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Azoto - Anytime Or Place (1980)

The Vagrant and His Monkey

[Conversation with a businessperson I tutor, last Sunday, walking down the street and encountering a vagrant in a stale jean jacket and his monkey]

Me: Ahhh, move aside! i know that monkey, he’s really sketchy.

Student: What do you mean you know him?

Me: That monkey bit my friend outside a club i dj at. The monkey did a backflip and danced and the girl didn’t wanna pay, so it bit her (makes biting motion to illustrate meaning). That man is a really bad person*.

Student: That’s terrible (pause)… I don’t want to know that monkey.

Actually I’ve seen this monkey and The Vagrant since I first came to Shanghai two years ago. Originally they hung around People’s Square, turning flips for loose change. In the past few months they’ve been working overtime, performing around Zhongshan Park by day and after getting boozed up, working the late-night crowds in the Hengshan Lu area (same neighborhood as Kung Fu Bum. more on him later).

Coming back from reading/napping in the park, I saw them lounging outside the KFC. I paused for a minute, then thought to get a photo and write a post about them. As I pulled out my camera, The Vagrant rose from the ground, shouting “tiaowu, tiaowau! (dance dance) jerking the monkey’s chain. Dude pulled out a harmonica and started blowing into it chaotically and the monkey really did dance his heart out, looking up at the vagrant as if to say “can we god damn stop now?” with a visibly forced smile. Monkeys really do smile like people.

Feeling quite bad for the monkey, but still disconcerted and more than slightly freaked out at the prospect of a monkey bite,  or worse yet, having my eyes gouged out/throat ripped open, I started walking away. The Vagrant shouted “ganma?! gei wo wu kuai qian!” (what are you doing!? give me five kuai ($.70)). I sped up, thrust my hands into my pocket trying to feign nonchalance but they kept on.

Finally, in front of the small crowd that had gathered by now, dude shouted “ni ting de dong zhongguo hua ma?! tao ni ma de bi! (do you understand chinese!? fuck your mother’s _____!) I cursed back at him in Shanghainese and left. No use waiting around and letting the situation escalate. I definitely can’t outrun that monkey.

*Bad person, or hui ren (broken person) sounds incomparably stronger in Chinese. It’s a major insult that definitely causes someone to lose face.

Here’s an animal song. Not a dance floor filler but not every song has to be. It’s a remix of a Panda Bear (Animal Collective) track.

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Phaseone - Panda Jawn

kinda miss california…

It’s Thursday; up early for class. Early enough that I don’t need to take a motorcycle taxi. My driver yesterday was, without exaggeration, older than my grandfather. He smoked his cigarette down to the raw filter then spit it farther than most people can throw darts.

According to Pitchfork (I still read it, as I prefer pretentious but real journalism to sloppy blogging), the lead singer of Girls grew up in the Children of God cult where his mother often prostituted herself to convert new members into the church (”Flirty Fishing“). Eventually a San Francisco millionaire adopted the kid and raised him in the real world.

He’s grown up to make a great album with dark and often hilarious lyrics. Can’t stop listening to the first track.

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Girls - Lust For Life

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Girls - Morning Light

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Girls - Big Bad Mean Mother Fucker

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Girls - Ghost Mouth

disco monday

Solid but exhausting weekend. French party at Not Me blew up on Friday. Someone brought a proper mixer - a DJM-800, an absolute joy to play on.

Added some curious foods/animal parts to my “I’ve eaten that” list. Started with some grilled silkworms at Bei Fang Ren (Northern People) restaurant on Wednesday. Aside from the pungent and off-putting smell, silkworms provide a nice crunch upon the first bite, with a soft egg-paste texture inside. Pretty subtle flavor.

Anyone who’s lived in China for more than two days knows about “yang rou chuan,” the bbq lamb sticks available on any corner. They’re usually sold by muslims from the Xinjiang region in China’s far west. These guys sell other meats too, just not pork, and they don’t like to waste. I sampled some of the other offerings, namely chicken hearts and kidneys.

While I’m not a huge fan of the kidneys (too soft and reminiscent of one of my least favorite foods - foie gras), I would definitely go back for the chicken hearts. Four hearts on a stick for about fifty cents US? Deal. Great source of iron for the ladies too.

I played a super crunk set on Saturday night to a packed dance floor, and while I dig the harder stuff, I gotta go back to my true love - disco. Somethin’ old from an Italo Disco master, Kano, and somethin new’ish up today on one of the better labels out there today, Italians Do It Better.

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Kano - Don’t Try To Stop Me

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Glass Candy - Miss Broadway

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Glass Candy - Etheric Device

the pains of being pure at heart

Huge day tomorrow so brief post.

Last spring, I spent many, many mornings on subway line two, mashed between umbrella-wielding women and men clipping their fingernails, listening to the first album by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart. They’ve released another EP, and like everything else they’ve done it’s splendid indie pop. Don’t miss out.

If you’re in Shanghai tomorrow, I’m in a DJ battle at Not Me. All the cool kids will be there.

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The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Falling Over

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The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Higher Than The Stars

honey hands

The best honey in China doesn’t come from grocery stores, who sell jars of corn syrup cut with thickening agents and artificial flavoring labeled as the sweet bee-produced nectar. Indeed, the best comes from pharmacies, who right now also slang Viagra at 116 RMB a pill, or about $20 U.S. (they’re promoting this heavily with signage in Chinese and English).  Guess that’s less sketchy that buying it from some sketchy and intimidatingly fit dude in the locker room at a twenty-four hour gym in America, who might offer to throw in a vial of human grown hormone for “a little extra - you know, just to try.”

Why honey? In a city of auto emissions that grow by 5,000 to 7,000 private cars a month (taxi driver estimate), unfamiliar pathogens, swarms of construction dust that one can neither duck under nor walk around, and exposure to second-hand smoke not only in normal places like restaurants and bars, but also elevators, indoor basketball courts, and doctor’s offices, the human throat can become irritated. Hot water mixed with proper honey does wonders for this.

(To be fair, the air here isn’t as bad as many would guess (speaking only of non-factory towns). It’s the massive construction effort leading up to the 2010 World Expo that causes the most noticeable pollution).

I made it all the way through a post about honey without any risqué double entendres or sexual honey talk. This song, from 1985, is explicitly sexual, more so that almost anything in Prince’s catalog and just as funky.

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Frankie Knuckles & Jamie Principle - Baby Wants to Ride (edit)




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