Monthly Archive for August, 2008

why you puttin’ ice cream in my coffee b?

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Heat Wolves
on August 31, 2008
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This summer in America, McDonald’s wisely courted middle class tastes by offering decent ice coffee. Way cooler than Burger King’s “apple fries,” which were actually just sliced apples. Yesterday, trying to simultaneously defeat jet lag and the heat, I stopped in Carrefour’s McDonald’s to see if their marketing gurus hit the Chinese market in the same way.

Not so much. In China, McDonald’s ice coffee follows this equation -

chocolate sunday sauce drizzled down the sides of a plastic cup
+ ice cubes
+ hot coffee from the pot
+ a giant pile of ice cream floating around the top

Aside from the chemical taste, perhaps from scolding hot coffee burning the plastic cup, Ronald and co really fucked up on this one. They took something with literally two calories, or 342 less than the next item on the menu, and warped it into the kind of creation a high teenager devises while stumbling around the kitchen after seeing pineapple express for the fourth time.

Still not over jet lag. I wish I had control over time like that boss in Mega Man II. So I’m in my new spot on the 25th floor, languidly listening to The Replacements.

The Replacements - Favorite Thing

The Replacements - Little Mascara

The Replacements - Left of the Dial

back in shanghai

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Heat Wolves
on August 29, 2008
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I realize I haven’t updated the site in over a week, but I really appreciate the steady flow of readership. Props to whoever reads this in Korea, Japan, and Cambodia. What up New Zealand? Too cool to comment?

I spent the last week in Brooklyn with the intention of a quick weekend trip that turned into an extended trip after an absurd experience at the airport that ended with China Eastern Airlines not allowing me to board my flight. However, I can’t imagine a better place to finish a haunt in the States than BK. Massive parties in empty public swimming pools, Boar’s Head sandwiches for like $3.00 at every bodega, and a subway that never closes…unlike the city I’m in now. My friend’s neighborhood, Bushwick, also had more sneaker spots than convenience stores. Abundance of dope gear, but after two months of traveling with no income, I had to stop myself from scooping up AirMaxs and Dunk Highs galore.

Just arrived in Shanghai at five am on China Eastern. Yo, American domestic airlines, get your game up and hire some stewardesses who don’t look like haggard mid-fourties dollar store cashiers. The rest of the world figured it out.
I can’t understand Portuguese, but man… Baile Funk bangs. This music provides the soundtrack to coke-fueled parties in Rio’s machine-gun toting suburbs, thrown by the head dealers themselves. For a better explanation, check this excellent article from Blender. In the mean time, peep this track.

Daniel Haaksman - Who’s Afraid Of Rio? feat. MC Jennifer (Radio Edit)

why are you standing there with your arms crossed?

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 20, 2008
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Spotted this wall in an Eastside neighborhood that felt like season one of The Wire. Last night, with freak-folk kids playing with violons, banjos, and tambourines  and claironets, metro detroit girls with cool glasses drinking pbr, and some kid riding a stolen bike skillfully dissing everyone in the room over guitar chords, my romanticized Kalamazoo finally appeared.

The reverse culture shock didn’t hit too hard until staying in my hometown for three weeks. The combination of driving long distances constantly, music I remember from junior varsity basketball playing in the clubs, and lots of wack females, e.g. this one trollop  - ” I work for Merrill Lynch, you probably don’t know what that is,” often led me to just chillin’ out in the countryside with family and the giant rottweiler-bear that guards our castle. Last night started seemingly tame evening eating chicken and lots of rolls and watching Pineapple Express [tight, but True Romance = somewhat similar and superior], but ended with freestyles going until 4:47 am.  Kalamazoo hadn’t disintegrated, I just needed a porch with some characters.

Once, in another nostalgic town, on a Saturday morning, shoes on, on the couch, I woke up to this vinyl my friend copped from some junkie behind a dumpster in New York. Dude praised my friend’s “heavy taste.” I’m going to New York this weekend, looking forward to some equally bizarre escapades. I can’t believe I slept on Gil Scott Heron for so long. Pieces Of A Man came out in 1971, and loads of cats sampled it afterward including MF Doom. This record fits perfectly with any situation, e.g. on the late-night tip or mixed with broken robot syndrome and a half-opened blind around 11:00 in the morning.

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Gil Scott Heron - When You Are Who You Are

Gil Scott Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Gil Scott Heron - Lady Day and John Coltraine

Gil Scott Heron - Or Down You’ll Fall

solid rock and roll

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Heat Wolves
on August 16, 2008
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I’m not all about glitchy electrotrash rhyme disco. Downloaded this somewhere last night and already played it seven times. Solid rock and roll that knows when to cut the song.

Harlem - South of France

that northeast

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 14, 2008
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Chinese restaurants in the States…  Walk in, speak Chinese, ask for lamb kabobs and other snacks they clearly don’t have, and charm the bright-eyed eighteen year old waitress from Fujian and her parents who cook our food. They had no beer so I asked if I could run to the corner store and grab some of that Vermont illa, that 10% double I.P.A. The girl even brought us some tall red coca cola classes to pour into.

I preconceived the Northeast as lots of stuffy old money grumbling about local politics. While I can’t speak for Connecticut and friends,  Vermont’s mostly just green mountains, people perfecting foods like syrup and granola, skiing, and laid-back folk. After driving through the whole state’s latitude, using the fake name “Link” briefly, catching the end of a People Under the Stairs show from the back door of the club, playing frisbee on the lawns of liberal arts colleges, and eating loads of onions, I’m pleased. For some reason every cook gave the vegetable some exotic treatment. As I spend most of my life in cities, I like the fear of moose crossing the road and trees who saw all the country’s wars.

Vermont loves sculptures too.

These appear in multiple cities.

Blended into the main street.

Real casual like.


I got a bachelor’s in urban planning and never learned about this.

Who the fuck are Futurecop? I need a woman who wants to get down in an arcade to this. “Yoshimitsu dat’ ooooooooooooo”

Futurecop - Starworshipper

i just fast-fowarded to the wale part

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 13, 2008
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By pure coincidence, after posting that Pete Rock and CL Smooth track last night, I found some other cats flowin’ over that same beat. Lupe and the other dude I’ve never heard of…meh, but Wale kills it as usual.

Dope Boy Remix (feat. Lupe, Wale, Kardinal)

the end of western civilization?

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 13, 2008
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Interesting article in Adbusters; extremely well written.  Agree? Disagree?

I’m so high in the mountains right now. “Moose Crossing” signs and pressure in my ears.

Nice old school jam on the serious tip ~

Pete Rock & CL Smooth - They Reminisce Over You

i didn’t know bernie mac like that

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 13, 2008
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But man I love KMD

Had this record a few years back but lost it in a hard drive crash, operating system upgrade…something or other.  Long before Madvillain and the metal mask, MF Doom rocked these cuts with KMD as Zev Love X. Their second album Black Bastards, originally scheduled for release in 1994, got shelved by Elektra due to its controversial cover art. Finally ended up dropping in 2001. The production…so nice.

KMD - Sweet Premium Wine

KMD - Smokin’ That Shit

KMD - It Sounded Like a Roc

dunks + hype

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 13, 2008
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(Conversation between the shopkeeps and myself at a boutique after the welding on their bench broke and I fell while trying these on)

me: is there any way you can come down on the price on these? flight club sells these for $100..you’re asking $120.

shopkeep (wearing shades inside): yeah, flight club…that’s if they have your size and it’s only in new york.

me: and LA, and Tokyo.

shopkeep: do you live in Tokyo?

me: no, I live in Shanghai

shopkeep: well that’s a long flight for $20.

other shopkeep: look yo, sneaker people don’t like to haggle.

me: I like to haggle.

other shopkeep: that’s what’s up. people don’t just go walkin’ up in supermarkets talkin’ bout “this tomato is redder than that one, so let me get a discount.”

In the end they knocked ten dollars off but I walked. I hate the hype. Wale sums it up nicely.

Wale - The Hype

Smack vs. Drop Bears

Published
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Heat Wolves
on August 11, 2008
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Aussie’s don’t play. However, they’ve neglected to make a PSA about the most menacing threat to humanity - the drop bear. More on that later.

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